Subject: Saxbeat's Reply to Cochinoman

ZBone wrote:
>Excuse me boys.  Hello.  Hello.  Why don't you guys take this 
>outside and do it in private e-mail since there is no substance left in 
>these posts anymore.  It all got squeezed out from all the profanity.

The Z-Man is right, as usual. But I'd like to get in the last word, so in
the interest of adding some substance and getting in the last word, I
would like to present the following rap song I wrote for Cochinoman. He
thus becomes part of a very select group of ass-c'ers (previously
consisting only of Bob Smyth), for whom I have publicly posted an honorary
tune....

Okay, everyone, on the count of four, give me a beat....

(boom chucka chucka, said-a-boom chucka chucka chucka....)

The Cochinoman Rap

Yo brothers and sisters, listen to me
I'm the one they call Saxbeat, the original G
I've been posting for a while here on a.s.s-c.
Done my time and earned my props, as you can plainly see

That's right, I've done my time
I'm pretty fly and it's no crime
If strippers are tequila, I'm the salt 'n' I'm the lime
I work 24 and seven droppin' views and bustin' rhymes

I'm driven and I've given, I'd say I'd earned a rep
I may not be DeNiro, but at least I'm Johnny Dep
When somewhere out of nowhere comes a guy who ain't so hep
He call's himself Cochinoman, but the brother's got no pep

He's a-dissing me, he's a-messin' me
Calls me wimpy wuss, but I don't know why he's guessin' me
Maybe it's love, and he wants to be a-kissin' me
But the brother's a pus-head, and he really is a-pissin' me

(chorus - sang)
   Whammin' and jammin', Cochinoman is spammin'
   I don't care who he is or what hand he yanks his ham in
   But if he doesn't shut up soon, I'm gonna have to slam him

He starts off with a flame, 
but it's really pretty lame
So I tell the brotha lay off, I won't play his baby game
But he whines on and on and on, almost like my Auntie Mame

At first it's kind of fun
I pull out my big Flame Gun
And I turn it on the brotha, 'cause i want to see him run
I wanna flame his lame-o ass, wanna toast his wussy buns

I really like to whup him, it really is a treat
Cochinoman's too stupid to know when he's been beat
Just sits there like a pervert, with his hand around his meat
Like a rabid English bulldog who won't get out of the heat

In a way it's kind of cool
The boy is such a fool
It's def to see my friends jump in like my posse back in school
When they see a flame so easy, it almost makes them drool

(repeat chorus)

(bridge)
     Bow wow wow yippie yo yippie yay
     You know that Cochinoman ain't around to stay
     Boom chooka locka locka docka wicka hey
     The s-a-x-b-e-a-t is gonna get his way
     Dang diggy diggy wang dang diggy diggy
     We're gonna serve him with an apple like a roasted little piggy
     Bow wow wow yippie yo yippie yay
     Bow wow yippie yippie ti-yay

He's really earned our jeers
He deserves some bad nightmares
I'm really gonna miss him if he ever disappears
It's nice to have a bozo 'round with zip between his ears

His daddy is a pervo
His mama is a 'ho
His sister wants to blow me, but I told her no
No wonder he's so messed up, when his kin's so good to go

Cochinoman's so pitiful, I bear him no bad will
But I wish the bro' would take a break and teach himself to chill
Although Saxbeat's a mellow cat, I'm pretty quick to kill
When a lurker comes along and treats me so damn ill

So C-M you've got to learn
'Round this group your props are earned
Don't be dissin' with the Sax or you'll get your po' self burned
It's a battle of wits and brotha you're unarmed

(repeat chorus and fade out)


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