Special Agent Dale Cooper's "Vision"

>Doug--> I tend to skip the reviews and head straight for the
>funnies.  And the horoscopes.  I do regret not having had time
>to acknowledge the very witty, insightful pieces from the Eye;
>I get swamped by my responsibility to personally inform each
>pathetic loser (form letters are so unkind) how much they
>suck the big sausage.  Lately, there just hasn't been much
>time.

You are truly filled with the spirit of civic duty. Would you mind 
holding this sign? 

[BFD dons grey uniform and holds orange octagonal sign that reads:
"stop, snaggy crossing". He leans casually against a lamp post 
chatting with hookers, junkies, and Vice-presidential candidates as a 
crowd of whimpering, confused, and hurt looking snaggies gathers on 
the other side. When the assemblage reaches some unspoken critical 
mass BFD saunters out into the road, sign held high, whistle in 
mouth. The PL's move slowly into the street, cautiously at first, 
remaining inside the group, as if for protection. BFD's whistle 
squeels and a sixteen ton weight plummets from out of the fog 
enshrouded sky, annihilating the entire group. BFD smirks and re-
enters the CP, tossing the orange sign into the bin marked "lost and
never found".

Close up of Siren as BFD maneuvers his bulky "quaf" into a seat.
Siren: "Baby, you're the greatest"
BFD: "You still look a boy. And Minnie Pearl."
Cue laugh track. Cue applause track. Scene fades. Cue theme music.]

SADC