From: LickerJohn
Date: Wed, 6 Nov 1996

LickerJohn at the Lick Observatory:

Saturday afternoon and I'm sitting in front of the computer looking at 
the clock. Should I go to CP tonight? I'm asking myself. I really should 
get a life. So what's the alternative tonight? I'm thinking of the pile 
of laundry to be done and how funny it feels to wear short white 
athletic socks to work with my regular clothes. I remember running out 
of clean underwear so rather than doing laundry, I went to the store and 
bought enough to last another two weeks. This SC'ing tends to make 
normal activity seem irrelevant. I've been doing this for months now and 
it's become so much a regular activity that it seems normal. I'm 
neglecting to pay bills till the last moment because I put things off. 

I look at the clock again. Kill some more time on line. Nothing 
interesting to buy. Running out of money anyway so how can I afford to 
buy anything? Dancer M* may be short for this months rent again. If I go 
in she'll probably be there and I can't say no to her or several others. 
Most of the dancers know I have certain favorites. The list of favorites 
seems to be getting longer all the time.  It's getting late so I start 
to  get cleaned up.

I grab something to eat for dinner at home since I rarely go out when at 
the club anyway. I get dressed and head down. Yep I've given in again. 
No willpower at all. 

It's empty in the office when I get there. No one has shown up tonight 
so I'm alone. Not too bad actually, since I get more attention.  I ask 
the dancers how it's been. They're complaining that business is really 
hurting. It may be a tough night. I'm wondering if this is a seasonal 
sort of activity. I've been told the football season really hurts 
business too. Football vs naked dancers? It doesn't seem much 
competition to me, but then I like women. The night goes by like most 
other Saturday nights. I don't stay till closing any more, but it's late 
enough when I get home.  Another Saturday has gone by.

M,T,W,T,F, and it's saturday afternoon again. I didn't go in Friday 
night so I've yet to go to CP this week. I  cut back from two to three 
times a week to try and recover financially. My bank account is a 
shambles. Once a week is enough I think. This S-C'ing is addictive. It 
has me wondering if I can stop. 

I'm on line again looking through newsgroups and checking out web sites 
for computers. I keep track of the time. In the back of my mind, I'm 
asking myself if I'm going to CP again tonight. Really it's time to get 
a life. Or at least do some laundry. Any longer and the pile is going to 
become toxic. 

Time actually does go by. Computers can really suck up your time. It's 
around 8 o'clock and I'm thinking, it's really getting late. When it 
becomes 9 o'clock I start thinking that by the time I get to CP it will 
be well into the evening and I won't stay that long anyway so it doesn't 
seem worth going for such a short stay. 

I stall some more.

It gets to be 10 o'clock and it really does seem late. I decide not to 
go. I get a beer instead. Once I have the beer I'm buzzed and don't feel  
like driving.  Feels good to relax. Crisis over I think. I stop worrying 
about it and spend the evening just killing time. I get to sleep late of 
course. Hard to break this late evening habit, but I've stayed home at 
least.

Sunday, I get up late. Don't feel like doing much anyway. Don't go to CP 
that night. End up not going to CP, MB, anywhere else having to do with 
strip clubs at all. I've made it through the weekend without going to a 
strip club. Is this the start of a trend? Maybe I'm not so hooked after 
all, or at least I'd like to think.  Makes me wonder what next week will 
be like. I guess I'll just see .......