Hmm, where to start? OK, I'll start with three words: thirty-seven seconds. That's how long it took me to get my first lap. But let me back up a bit... Here are some somewhat disjointed outtakes, that I've tried to get in some semblance of order, although I'm still exhausted from the trip... After spending a few days wandering the aisles at CES and observing how many "booth babes" were hired to attract visitors, my two friends and I finally met up with ALS, SirKay, AbNormal, and Molly. After spending a few hours wandering the Forum shops at Caesar's Palace, with an especially entertaining visit to Victoria's Secret (picture five drones following the pheremone trail of a queen bee, and you will have a vague notion of what we looked like in the store), had dinner and made our way to Cheetahs... My two friends and I arrived at Cheetahs around 9-ish (ALS & co. arrived a while later), and walked in to something that reminded me of the Brass Rail in Sunnyvale, CA. Dark, very dark, blacklights everywhere, which greatly aided in the identification of the dancers, who were of course wearing white outfits... Met up with Bubba, and we finally made it over to the ASSCON-LV2 reserved section, where I was greeted by our host Marc, LMR, Dodger, JoshMan, and CP1, who promptly placed me in a seat, and an attractive young thing immediately sat in my lap. Katherine was her name, I think, I had trouble remembering things from that point on for the rest of the evening. So for the record, it was 37 seconds. At that point one could say my wagon hit a bump in the road and I fell off, tumbling in the dirt... Being dark, noisy, and crowded, Cheetah's at first didn't seem very conducive to the CP-style hanging out and mellow conversation that I've grown accustomed to. I was also reminded of how nice it actually is in CP, where smoking is not allowed and you can actually breathe... But later on, I found a place next to the stage, where the dancers entered and exited for their sets. It turned out to be one of the best spots in the entire club, because I got a good look at every dancer before, during, and after their sets... Things were kind of a blur, I remember meeting several people and immediately forgetting their names, watching Molly blindfold and undress Laar (there has been discussion on exactly who put their tongue in his mouth, but to be honest I can't remember, I didn't have a good view. Though I remember both Molly and ALS bending over his face...) I remember JasmineT getting a little, er, less-restrictive for a while, and Molly being the recipient of some, attention... I remember my friends buying laps for me (Hey, I couldn't insult friends by refusing gifts, now could I?) from several dancers, including Nina, Asia, and Lydia... Then SirKay bought a lap for me from a total knockout named Cindy. I vaguely remember her extremely cute face, tied-up brown hair, sparkling eyes, and cute smile... She cuddled very well, and I can still smell the scent of Victoria's Secret Pear Glace' lotion. Mmm, my favorite... When the song ended, I found myself reaching into my wallet, something I told myself I would never do, but I have trouble saying 'no' to someone wearing Pear Glace' lotion, especially someone like Cindy... Anyway, I bought an additional dance from her, and it was all I could to to keep from giving her the contents of my wallet... If she were to work at CP, I would be a total basket case... But by now I envisioned myself being left behind by the "wagon", but I was getting up, dusting myself off, and running to catch up... Would I reach it and get back on by the time I make my next visit to CP? Time will tell... At one point I was standing around, chatting w/SirKay, and ALS walked up and made me sit in a seat, and Molly plopped in my lap! Wow, this was bizarre. I can honestly say I was not expecting her to lap w/me, perhaps from some unspoken mutual feeling we've had, but I was pleasantly surprised at how much I actually enjoyed it after all... And that's all I'm going to say about that... 8-) Time went rather quickly after that, and we left Cheetahs at around 3am (?) and returned to the hotel where we had some breakfast before the road-trip gang hopped back in ALS's car and headed home... It was a rather enjoyable evening in all, and I think I did a pretty good job of maximizing the entertainment value of my visit... 9 laps for $20? I'd say I did pretty well for myself... For the record: Time from arrival to first lap = 37 seconds Total laps = 9 Total laps purchased for myself = 1 Number of different dancers = 6 Dancer breakdown, in chronological order: Katherine - 1 Nina - 3 Asia - 1 Lydia - 1 Cindy - 1 + 1 bought Molly - 1 Contact ALS for book payoffs/collections... I don't remember much of anything else, so I'll just leave it at that, and say that I look forward to the next ASSCON with bated breath... But I do thank Mark of Cheetahs for hosting the event, it went very well, all things considered, and everyone seemed to have a great time... -JustPhil