From: laar@ix.netcom.com (Laar)
Subject: BYODTing @ ASSCon LV4

Was this the year of playing musical BYODs or what?

It looks like our collective social skills have bottomed out. Or
peaked, I guess, depending on how you look at it. BYODs were being
traded and stolen like pro athletes. Ever watch piranahs fight over
goldfish? It was kinda like that.

So, we need a new Glossary entry:

BYODT (1/99, LMR) - BYOD-Thief (or BYOXD-Thief, for ex-dancers),
someone who steals another ASSCer's BYOD. The BYODT can be male or
female, and you can still be considered a BYODT even if you bring your
own dancer and then abandon her for someone else's BYOD. For the
ASSCon following that at which the BYODTing occurred, the BYODT must
wear a blindfold, thick gloves and a diaper to block any stimuli that
might indicate the presence of a stealable BYOD. Except for LMR; he
gets a general anaesthetic and a chastity belt, while the rest of us
gorge ourselves on Viagra and raw oysters.

The precident for this type of social foul was inadvertantly set by
yours truly at LV3, where I was smitten by someone else's BYOD, who it
turns out was attached to at least three other guys, including a
fiancee. My official explanation was that it was an accident; I
thought she was just tagging along with Sai's BYOD. This year I really
paid the price: I arrived and left with my date, The Kid, though I did
indulge in a brief fling with Sick66.

Anyway, if I have it straight, the ASSCon LV4 BYODTing went something
like this:

TallGuy + Rita & Sai + Karen --> Sai + Rita

DragonFly + Sharon --> DragonFly + Karen --> LMR + Karen --> 
DragonFly + LMR + Laar + Karen's neck and ears

J2K + Tristen --> LMR + Tristen

i.e., LMR + nobody --> LMR + everybody

Truth + Sydney --> Sydney + various PLs and one babe at Hard Rock

LLC + Sequoia --> LLC + ? + ? & Sequioa + the babe in red panties who
really needed Laar but didn't realize it --> the babe in red panties who
really needed Laar but didn't realize it + Karen (OH BABY!) + Rita

And some of these people have called *me* a slut. Sheesh...  It
actually got worse than this, but some of the trades are better struck
from the record.

Maybe there should also be an entry for ABYOD (Abandoned BYOD) and
ABHOD (Abandoned Brought-His-Own-Dancer), for the dudes who get
ditched. Or how about BMODBWTFISN - brought my own dancer but where
the fuck is she now?

Hey, this could give birth to a whole new social order, with new
customs to fit the ASSCulture. Like, for example, if you BYODT
accidently, it doesn't count. And the statute of limitations for BYODT
penalties is exactly one year. (These two clauses make me exempt from
punishment for the '97 indicent. Nyah, nyah.)

Or, if you commit a BYODT and "close the deal" where no deal had
previously been closed, you must refund the BYODer half of the cost of
getting the BYOD to ASSCon. But, if you fail to close the deal where
deals had already been closed by the original BYODer, and thereby
deprive the original BYODer of more deals, then you are exempt, but
the BYOD must give her BYODer a full refund. Regardless, the BYOD must
email an apology to her original BYODer for thinking with her pussy
instead of her head. However, if your BYOD disappears with an
obscenely wealthy basketball player, she must get pregnant with
triplets, sue for a hideous amount of child support, sell the kids for
medical experiments, and donate the proceeds to Laar.

Just a thought.

--
Laar
Bay Area Strip Club Guide
www.netcom.com/~laar/index.htm