From: saibaba@dimensional.com (Sai Baba)
Subject: ASSC: Top Ten Things I Learned at LVCON-3


1. With the right dancer, $20 can get you a lot of fun. 

2. With the right dancer, $100 can get you a public embarrassment.

3. It IS possible to walk with a dancer into a shop that sells 
   dancer's gear ONLY, choose a killer black tank top and matching
   miniskirt for her (not just passively approve of her choice), 
   convince her to change into it on the spot and ditch the dress 
   SHE chose to wear that evening, have her pick up the tab AND 
   walk out of the store with a zero damage to your own wallet.

4. I shouldn't think about starting a career as a porn star just
   yet. Note to self: practice performing under pressure.
 
5. If you close your eyes, your problems WILL go away, especially
   if you're riding a roller coaster at New York-New York hotel in 
   Las Vegas.

6. [5] does not necessarily apply if there are 10 people huddled
   around you, and a woman is kneeling between your legs. See [2].

7. If you're ever thinking of BYOD-ing, be ready to listen
   to some amusing phone conversations at odd hours and to admire
   some serious lingerie. I suggest practicing poker face in
   front of the mirror for 30 days prior to departure for *CON-*
   with BYOD of your choice. You'll need all the coolness you 
   can muster on your trip and then some...

8. Denver gals KNOW how to give a smokin' lap dance; they just
   don't do it in Denver. Thank God for that dark corner with a row 
   of chairs against the wall upstairs at the OG. See [1]. Wooooof.

9. "Hey Sai, did ya get any non-mock 003's today ?" gets old 
   pretty fast.

10. If you are a male asscer, you're either a big burly white man
    (Elvis), or a short Asian dude (Bruce Lee). If you're neither, 
    you're a snaggy Bill Gates type topless club webmaster from
    Tucson with camera. Goatees are optional.

    ... and special thanks to Jim Forte for treating us to dinner
    (that was a neat plaque you got, huh ?) and to LMR for organizing
    all this (those used dildos you got were too kewl, huh ?).
  
    Sai Baba