From: saibaba@dimensional.com (Sai Baba) Subject: ASSC: Top Ten Things I Learned at LVCON-3 1. With the right dancer, $20 can get you a lot of fun. 2. With the right dancer, $100 can get you a public embarrassment. 3. It IS possible to walk with a dancer into a shop that sells dancer's gear ONLY, choose a killer black tank top and matching miniskirt for her (not just passively approve of her choice), convince her to change into it on the spot and ditch the dress SHE chose to wear that evening, have her pick up the tab AND walk out of the store with a zero damage to your own wallet. 4. I shouldn't think about starting a career as a porn star just yet. Note to self: practice performing under pressure. 5. If you close your eyes, your problems WILL go away, especially if you're riding a roller coaster at New York-New York hotel in Las Vegas. 6. [5] does not necessarily apply if there are 10 people huddled around you, and a woman is kneeling between your legs. See [2]. 7. If you're ever thinking of BYOD-ing, be ready to listen to some amusing phone conversations at odd hours and to admire some serious lingerie. I suggest practicing poker face in front of the mirror for 30 days prior to departure for *CON-* with BYOD of your choice. You'll need all the coolness you can muster on your trip and then some... 8. Denver gals KNOW how to give a smokin' lap dance; they just don't do it in Denver. Thank God for that dark corner with a row of chairs against the wall upstairs at the OG. See [1]. Wooooof. 9. "Hey Sai, did ya get any non-mock 003's today ?" gets old pretty fast. 10. If you are a male asscer, you're either a big burly white man (Elvis), or a short Asian dude (Bruce Lee). If you're neither, you're a snaggy Bill Gates type topless club webmaster from Tucson with camera. Goatees are optional. ... and special thanks to Jim Forte for treating us to dinner (that was a neat plaque you got, huh ?) and to LMR for organizing all this (those used dildos you got were too kewl, huh ?). Sai Baba