From: ritajrich@aol.com Subject: ASSC Cake and Eat It RITA's ASSCon-LV3 Report: I've been working on different versions of this but they have become either too theory-ridden to be anything I could actually finish before LV-4 or too intensely personal to be anything I can share yet. Here's what I am struggling with: ASSCon-LV3 was strange for me because I experienced it so completely as both a dancer and a patron/participant. From which perspective do I write from? Lately I have been thinking more and more that those two roles---dancer and customer---are two sides of the same coin. (That's when I go off on the theory tangent.) Although I have never gone alone to a strip-club as a customer, there is no question that I occupy a bizarre and unusual position in this industry. It is as if I think I am a Regular Artist, not one who Takes Off Her Clothes: Like the actor who attends movies and plays; the painter who visits openings and gallery shows; or the writer who frequents poetry readings, I see myself as both producer and consumer in the adult entertainment industry. As a producer I feel quite passionate about my work. My interests as consumer stem from a curiosity about what else is going on in the business, a desire to celebrate and support an essential service, and finding it helpful to meet peers and other people with similar interests/views, not to mention a deeply sensual nature that, like any customer, finds a certain satisfaction in an encounter with a professional. It has always been pretty easy for me to differentiate the sides of my personality but the trip to Las Vegas challenged that. Theoretically, if I had paid my own way to Asscon-LV3, and attended solely as a patron of the industry, I probably wouldn't be struggling with this so much. But I didn't. Nick, my all-time-regular (uh oh, now I AM getting the roles confused, heh heh.) took care of my expenses, for which I am very grateful. Consequently I had a title, which was BYOD. As in, "I am Rita, Nick's BYOD." If I had not been a BYOD, I would have behaved the same way: mercilessly teasing MARK GREEN, hungrily yanking on BUBBA's leash, coquettishly enjoying the generosity of JAYJ's lap. I would have still exchanged knowing glances with LINK about the DejaVu-ness of DejaVu Little Darlings, and I would have held a completely sane and reasonable conversation with the very understanding MARC182 while slipping my hand into his shirt sleeve to lightly tickle his biceps. I still would have discussed the prospect of opening a club in Salt Lake City with SLOWPOKEBILL and CHARLIE. No doubt I would have still begged ALS for another chance to interview him; I would have begged FIXER for more dollar bills when we were up at the rail; I would still have grilled K-9 about what it's like to photograph porn starlets. I'm sure I still would have grabbed SAIBABA, pulled him into a booth at the restaurant, and asked him if my outfit matched OK. I still would have delightedly shivered every time SERENA looked my way. I still would have demanded an explanation from MAZ, regarding why he and the pantingly sexy DARALYNNE disappeared from the CP as soon as I made my grand re-entrance. I still would have envied GINGER's latex pantsuit. (!!!) I still would have let NICKUNO see my vulnerable side---the barely awake, pyjama-ed side of me that insisted on going to Denny's at 4 in the morning for buffalo wings. I still would have been totally unable to keep my hands off SICK66, even when we were sitting at the rail and the dancers were on him, too. (He finally subdued me by buying a couple of dances for me, just so he could watch my expression change from that of a healthy and slightly drunk stripper to what many eyewitnesses report is the exact facial expression of a 17-year-old boy encountering his first live naked girl ever.) And of course, if I had not been a BYOD, I would still have felt, ulp, well, kinda shy around the disarmingly charismatic LMR. But I was a BYOD and the whole situation reminded me of a yet-to-be-published-conversation with ALS held a few months ago during which he talked about the faux-glamour of this industry. He seemed to suggest that the kind of light-headed celebrity status a dancer sometimes feels is only an illusion. He may be right but I can't deny the realness of how much honest pleasure I got while spending a few exhilarating hours with a bunch of guys who knew how to make me feel like a god-damned movie star! Thanks, darlings.