From: lmr@ix.netcom.com (LMR) Subject: ASSC: ASSCon-LV3, Host's Point of View First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who actually made it out to Las Vegas for this epic event. The following are just a few snippets of an incredible week which, for me, actually started the monday before ASSCon-LV3. THE TROPHY GUY When Jim Forte offered to take all of us ASSC'ers out to dinner prior to ASSCon-LV3, we felt it would only be fitting that we get him a small token of our appreciation. Should we get him some MaCallan 25 year? Well, he doesn't really drink. How about some Montecristo #2's? No... he doesn't smoke cigars. Laps! Well, anyone can buy their own laps anytime and that's such a personal choice anyway. So a few days before LV3, I end up in a mom n' pop trophy shop somewhere in the Las Vegas suburbs and start my quest for the perfect gift. Should we get a trophy? Not sure, but too bad there aren't any naked lapper figures they can stick on a trophy. A plaque? Yes, that's it. A plaque would do great, but what would we put on the thing? The proprietor of the shop figured the best thing to do was for me to write down what we wanted on the plaque first and then we could go from there; so I wrote the following on a sheet of paper: A.S.S-C Presented to Jim Forte In appreciation of hosting the welcome to Las Vegas Dinner. It was simple. The plaque looked classy. Finito, correct? Not quite. The owner looks at the sheet and says, "ASSC? That's the usenet newsgroup right? I read that thing all the time! Heck, I'll be at OG on friday night!" I looked at him with my mouth open. Talk about running into lurkers at the strangest places. Anyway, he even ended up spending some extra time in helping me find a great piece of clipart for the plaque. I hope Jim liked it. Thanks again for dinner! CARA 404 / SULLI'S JACUZZI Cara St. James, cara.net, CaraBaby ... was supposed to meet up with a group of us early on Thursday. However, she decided to pop into Olympic Garden to work a few hours first. After learning that working during CES is not all that, I get a voicemail message: "I'm calling from the Denny's on the strip, leave a voicemail at my hotel telling me where you're gonna be." At this point, I was going to head over to Sulli's suite at the Luxor to meet up with Bubba, Devon, DaraLynne, Maz, Ginger, Teena, Marc182, and Tiffany. So I called her voicemail, and it doesn't work. Uh oh. So I called information- Denny's on the Strip please. "Sir, there are 5 Denny's on the strip." AHHHHH! Well, lets just say there were no cute lil' Greek girls with black hair at any of the 5 Denny's. I end up at the Luxor, only to be paged by Cara again. "Hey, I'm back at my hotel now!" Well, get your butt down to the Luxor! After roaming the Luxor awhile looking for incinerator #2, I finally head up, and walk... and walk... and man, I feel like I'm doing a marathon. It was like 26 miles, really!, to Sulli's suite. Everybody was there and somehow, yes, most of us ended up in the hottub. Thanks DL and Sulli for the drinks. Oh ya, there were flashes and pictures again. Who's camera was all this going on? That's what my campaign manager would like to know. RING RING ... Hey, it's Cara... heh, and she's lost downstairs. When she finally got up to the suite, we were all about to head downstairs again to grab a bite to eat. Dyn0 and Serena made a surprise visit as well! LATE FOR DINNER? If you know me, you'll know the concept of LMR-time. I can easily put stripper time to shame. Granted, I was supposed to pick up Ginger and Cara, thus making it LMR+stripper time. However, this time, we also had to wait for my brother, making it LMR+LMR's brother+stripper time. Let's just say we were about an hour late to the Jim Forte dinner friday night. Luckily, the dinner was moving along quite slowly and they hadn't even served up the salads yet. I started passing out the ASSCon-LV3 badges which looked ultra cool- even on the floor as I spilled them, which caused a nice applause in the room. Thanks to Abnormal for the design. It took me forever to laminate and cut those suckers tho', and Ginger and I must have snagged about 100 of the CES badge neck loops for our own little Las Vegas event. Actually, that was kinda fun. The CES people really looked at us funny when we kept asking for more. Okay, back to dinner. The following were the attendees for the dinner: Amanda, Andy (Bub's friend), Bubba, Cara, Charlie (SPBill), Chris Hansen (T&182), DaraLynne, Devon, Dragonfly, Dyn0, Elanna, Fixer, fkn, Janie (Forte), JayJ, Jim Forte, Jimmy (LA lurker), Josh2000, K-9, Kenhx, Kevin (LMR), Laar, Link, LMR, Lord Mandrake, Marc182, Marcus Guy, Mark Green, Max (LA lurker), Mazoola, Nickuno, Pervoboy, Ren (Xique), Rita, Saibaba, Serena, SlowpokeBill, Sullivan, Susie (PB), Ted (LMR), Teena, Tiffany, Todd Owens (T&182), Trighap, Xique Yes, the dinner got a lil' crazy. I don't think that restaurant ever had gals pulling up their dresses and flashing before with cameras going off everywhere. Bubba was in full form with collar and dogdish. I don't know where someone would even get the remotest idea that dancers have more fun outside of stripclubs than in 'em. Brat Princess DaraLynne and flirty Amanda both had skirts which flew up without notice. Beautiful ASSC'ers Ginger and Teena somehow both ended up on the top of their booths, elevated above everyone, several times through the evening while chatting up a storm. Tiffany and her incredible cleav.. uh, I mean eyes. Serena looked lovely, but possibly a bit overwhelmed. Janie kept pressing me to trade shirts with her. Our cute as a button gal next door, Cara, popped in and out of booths like she owned the place, and Rita, oh Rita, that gorgeous hair, the dreamy eyes, that demure smile... wait, what was I talking about? Oh dinner! I'm still not sure who the two LA lurkers were, but I ate their salad and accidently drank all their wine. Oops! OLYMPIC MADHOUSE When we finally got into Olympic Garden friday night, I asked the doorman how many people had asked him about the ASSC event prior to the people with the green badges showing up. He said about 15 to 20. Uh oh. He also said a lot of those guys left. Sorry guys... I know, I know, we were about two hours late. How am I ever going to catch up? Anyway, by this time the place was mobbed with CES conventioneers and we had moved ASSCon-LV3 upstairs. The group was getting huge, and the roster of people in addition to the people from the restaurant were as follows: ALS, AndyE (PDM), Borly, Corinn (Rayne), Edie, Elizabeth (Krogar), Erip, JackF, Jay Seidel (PDM), Justphil, Kid, Krogar, Liza (PDM), LLC, Loren (PDM), Marlow (PDM), Monique (LLC), Neil (JP), OCRob, Ook, Pringle, Raul (LA Lurker), Rayne, Scottie (LMR), Sick66, Speedracer, Tallguy, Tim (PDM), Zbone This of course didn't include the people who showed and left and whoever else I didn't know to write down. DILDO PARADE I hadn't even been in Olympic Garden 15 minutes when good ol' Saibaba comes up to me with a plastic bag and starts pulling out one toy after another. Huh? Okay okay... they said they were gonna pull something on me, but I didn't know it was gonna be a bunch of dildos! The Brazen Hussy, MsGinger, had gotten me this huge honkin' strap on. The same one she used while on stage at the Chez Paree over a year ago. Hey man, I saw her sister deep throat that thing! Marc182 and Teena gave me this great looking cucumber, altho' she felt the size was a bit underwhelming. Don't worry, it was enjoyable nonetheless, and was quite fresh and crunchy. Tallguy gave me this big purple sheath thing which someone said Kid had tried to deepthroat. Now, don't get me wrong Kid, but I don't think that's what you were supposed to do with it. Amanda gave me her enthusiastic Ben Wa egg. Oh my, that thing really takes off. And Sai, well, he couldn't resist giving me the vibrating wonder which he wrote about in one of his posts in ASSC past. The ever so wonderful Rita gave me her personalized Amtrak toy carefully wrapped in a pretty green scarf. Now, at this point, the house dancers at the Garden were really looking at me funny. Thanks for the gifts. I'll treasure each one of them dearly. MAIN EVENT Where else can you see: MsGinger, DaraLynne, and Cara in compromising straddle style positions with each other (well, besides the Hardrock Hotel that is, but that's another story altogether). BYOD's jumping all over everyone's laps. ALS and Edie in Las Vegas form. Non-Mock, well, attempted non-mocks. Ahem, Sai, how are you? MsGinger spanking SICK66 with a belt. Krogar's wife Elizabeth's eyes flip and flutter while getting a lapdance. Ook. Just"I don't lap"Phil getting grinded away for hours! People confuse Zbone and Laar. Managers ogle at Bubba crawling across the floor, and of course, over 70 people with green badges running around one of the largest strip clubs west of the Mississippi. All this plus so much more... it was just amazing. EPILOGUE The whole weekend was a blur, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Besides, that's what pictures are for. I was where? I did what? Oh my, it looks like I did. It was great to spend time with old friends while making new acquaintances and solidifying new friendships. I just wish I had more time to spend. What I wrote barely covered 5% of my entire trip. There really was that much going on. I hope everyone had as much fun as I did. See you all next year! LMR -- Las Vegas Strip Club Review http://www.stripclubreview.com/lasvegas/