ASSC: ASSCon-LV3 Journal (Part 1 of 2)
Las Vegas, Nv.
Thursday, 01/08/98


                      ASSCon-LV3: The Strip

NOTE: While rummaging through my archive of half-started posts, non-
posted personal journal entries, and/or miscellaneous ASSC-related 
files on my hard disk, I came across this partially-written journal 
entry about my experiences during ASSCon-LV3 from earlier this year. 
Beings how I've been in a slightly nostalgic mood lately (OH NO, say 
it ain't so!), I decided to clean it up a bit and post it now, albeit 
VERY late. Sorry, LMR, for the delay... ;-).

This post is dedicated to LMR, JimForte and everyone else involved  
for organizing and helping to make ASSCon-LV3 such a huge success.


                            * * * * *                                  


ASSCers and friends: Princess DEVON, Danny, CP-One, CP SYDNEY, NC 
MORA, JADE-BLUE ECLIPSE, The Panty Guy, Dirty Dick, Sullivan 
Titwillow, Dr. Mazoola, TIFFANY, TEENA, Marc182, LMR, MsGINGER, DARA 
LYNNE DAHL, CARA ST. JAMES, Dyn0, SERENA.


PROLOGUE: Decided early on last year to attend the 1998 Winter 
Consumer Electronics Show (CES) and planned ASSCon-LV3 in Las 
Vegas... hell, it'd be fun to get reacquainted with the porno biz 
again! And besides, Cuzzin ALS and Brother EDIE had all but convinced 
me to go with their giddy anticipation of meeting porn stars 
(ESPECIALLY God Rocco and Taylor Wane). And if I didn't already have 
enough of a reason to look forward to it, slim Gummi-eatin' redhead, 
Mastah of Ass, Mistress of All-Who-Sniff-Bwutt, IRC CAPS-LOCK GIRL 
AND Chez Paree dancer, Princess DEVON, excited by all the LV talk by 
dancers and ASSCers at CP, asked me in October if she could join me 
as my LV traveling companion... "Make sure we get a room with one of 
those 25-cent vibrating beds", her only request. Sure... NO problem 
:-).

However, after months of giddy anticipation and ultra-high expections 
for CES and ASSCon-LV3 (on IRC, at CP, etc.), the few weeks leading 
up to the trip were, for me, marred by personal setbacks, work-
related stress and, of course, the holiday blues. So I hoped that 
this Las Vegas trip would be stress-free, a vacation to relax and 
take it easy.

                            * * * * *

Thursday, 01/08/98


Arrived in SF at 940am to pick DEVON up early enough for breakfast 
and 1150am flight out of Oakland. She's running a little late (having 
JUST stepped out of the shower), so she suggests, as a way of saving 
some time, meeting her at Coffee Rons (aka Red's Corner) for 
breakfast. Sounds good to me. While sitting at the just-painted-dark-
brown-and-still-WET bar waiting for her, I wind up chit-chatting with 
the graveyard shift bartender (didn't catch his name), day shift
bartender (and CP manager) Danny, and later Red's (and CP) owner   
CP-One, who can't resist saying, "Hey Bubs, you're here pretty early 
today!" ;-). Hell, even CP SYDNEY passed thru the bar at some 
point... WTF, it's 10am?!

DEVON arrives awhile later (1020am) and we order breakfast. She: 
bacon (with lotsa fat please!) and eggs. Me: pancakes. Not sure why 
but the pancakes took a little while to prepare. No problem though, 
we certainly have enough time to make our flight. While eating 
breakfast, we spent a considerable amount of care trying (but not 
quite succeeding) to avoid getting the bar's new paint on our 
sleeves, pants, hands, face, etc. 

As she finished eating, DEVON suddenly realizes she forgot to pack a 
few things, so she suggests running back to her place to get them and 
asks me to meet her there after I finish eating my late-arriving 
pancakes... uh, ok. By now, it's 1105am... still enough time to make 
it (hell, Oakland's only minutes away, or so I think). After a brief 
wait at her place (1115am) we finally get ourselves together and head 
for Oakland.

Hmmm, these lights on 5th St. take awhile to change... 1125am and 
we're finally on the Bay Bridge... "Uhm, DEVON, I think we're gonna 
be cuttin' it pretty close... so when we get to the airport, I'll 
drop you off at the express baggage check-in while I part the car". 
1130am and we're on the main road to the airport. This is gonna be 
REAL close. 1135am as I drop DEVON and our luggage off at the 
Southwest curb and she awaits curbside check-in. 1140am as I find a 
long-term parking spot. 1145am as I jog with my backpack and 
briefcase to Terminal 2, only to find that our gate is actually in 
Terminal 1(!) so now I'm sprinting like a madman... God I hope our 
flight is delayed! Fortuitously, I catch up to DEVON on her way to 
the gate. We're depart Gate 17... so let's see, we're at Gate 24, 
Gate 23, Gate 22... wait... now we're at Gate 1?! WTF??? Gate 2, Gate 
3... huffing and puffing... I've stopped looking at my watch for fear 
of what it shows time-wise.

We arrive at Gate 17 to find the area deserted, the door closed... 
1154pm. FOUR MINUTES LATE! And damn, wouldn't you know the flight 
left EXACTLY on time. We missed our flight... First thought: Damn
pancakes! ;-)

Anyways, the attendant at the gate says that boarding the next direct 
flight to LV (at 245pm) won't be a problem, so we wander back to the 
gift shop area to sit and chill a bit. I'm sweating profusely. DEVON 
turns to me and says with a smile, "Oh well, what kind of adventure 
would this be without Bubba and DEVON missing a flight?" Yeah, damn 
right ;-).

Turns out that Vegas has been cold recently and DEVON forgot to pack 
a heavy jacket, and we have enough time to make it back to SF and 
retrieve it... so it's back onto I-880 and Chez DEVON once again. 
After picking up her jacket, we return to the airport at 220pm and 
pick up our boarding passes (whew!). DEVON then says how she could 
really use a cigarette so she leaves to try and find a designated 
smoking area. Meanwhile, I wait in the boarding area. 

It's 235pm and "children and those needing assistance" are allowed to 
board. No sign of DEVON but hey, we still have lots of time. "Those 
passengers holding boarding passes 1-30 are now allowed to board". Oh
well, we have cards 33-34 so... Let's see, wait, is that her? Nope. 
"Passengers holding cards 1-60 are now allowed to board". I begin 
pacing. Hmmm... where could she be? Wonder if she knows what time it 
is? "All passengers are now allowed to board at this time". Pacing 
real quick now. 242pm and the boarding area is now empty, except for 
the podium ladies sorting out boarding passes. Beginning to get a 
little concerned. Uh, can I have someone paged please? Just then, one 
of the ladies points and says, "Is that her coming?" Princess!!! 
Woah, we almost missed our second flight ;-). In fact, we're the 
second to last people to board the plane, and we take two vacant 
seats in the emergency exit row in the front of the cabin, facing the 
rest of the passengers.

As I stuff my briefcase into one of the overhead compartments that 
still had room, I hear a female voice yell out, "Hey... Bubba?" I 
look around as I snap the overhead shut and see a woman with a window 
seat waving at me... it's none other than former-New Century dancer 
MORA!!! (whom I haven't seen since '95). I return a hello wave but 
the plane is just about to depart so we use hand gestures to say 
"let's talk in Las Vegas".

Quiet flight, Princess leafing thru her artwork (some with nude 
figures), the mother and son sitting across from us tried not to 
notice ;-).


                            * * * * *

Our flight arrives at McCarran Airport (LV) at 350pm, and as we 
deplane, I chat with MORA a bit before heading out toward baggage 
claim. I'd forgotten that MORA was a "regular" at the annual CES 
adult video convention. In any case it was so nice to see her again! 
As DEVON and I wait in the large baggage claim area at McCarran, I 
notice JADE-BLUE ECLIPSE, in her distinctive spikey blue hair, walk 
by. I call out her name and we exchange a quick greet/meet. Turns out 
she came in on the same flight as us, and she'll be representing a 
"leather booth" at CES! Cool.

We collect our luggage (damn, I gotta get me a bag with wheels like 
DEVON's!) and next stop, Alamo Rent-A-Car. No counter in the airport
(uh oh...) so we catch the Alamo shuttle at the curb. After arriving 
at the Alamo station, I wait in a ridiculously slow moving line AND 
then at the counter (the first car they assign me, my agent refuses 
to rent to me because he admits the car is "unacceptable" based on 
past customers' comments - I mean, if it's unacceptable, why even 
continue to rent it out?), but afterwards we do have a car: a white 
Chevy Cavalier. Needless to say, after this experience, I will never 
patronize Alamo again! 

...and FINALLY, it's off to the Strip! The LV Strip that is :-).

Arrive at the MGM Grand and after driving completely around the 
building, we use the valet parking service... something we would do 
the rest of our stay there. Valet parking, like, rules.

We wander in wide-eyed at the site of the immense, brightly colorful 
MGM Grand main lobby. We immediately encounter a man making balloon 
animals when we enter and I see a gleam in Princess's eyes. "Can you 
make a monkey?" Without saying a word, the man whips out a balloon. 
Blowwww, twist-twist-twist, black pen to sketch a face. "Hi Chim
Chim!" a happy Princess exclaims as we walk towards the registration 
desk.

630pm and we finally check into our room: Emerald Tower, 24th floor. 
Woah, what a view! We relax in the room for a bit... nice to finally 
be here. No more than 10 minutes later, the phone rings. It's LV-
friend Andy (who I met at last year's CES, a mutual friend of porn 
star Brooke Waters) calling to ask about my CES plans. No plans yet, 
maybe let's get together tomorrow. I lay back down and mention maybe 
having steak for dinner tonight... how 'bout Ruth's Chris Steakhouse? 
Princess says sure. So I make a dinner reservation for 9pm at the RC 
on Paradise. Shortly after another phone call... it's my longtime 
porno-perv friend The Panty Guy (TPG)! Seems he just returned to his 
room after a long day of CESing and was checking in to see if we had 
arrived yet, and if so, did we had dinner plans? I mention our 
reservation at RC and invite him and he accepts. I leave a message 
for Sullivan Titwillow at the Luxor and a page for LMR. At 815 Sully 
returns my call and invites us to his room after we finish our 
dinner. Cool.

DEVON and I pick up TPG at his motel at 845pm and head on over to RC. 
A little bit of a wait so we wait in the bar until our table is 
ready. Short wait (not anything like our two hour wait at the other 
RC on Flamingo 2 yrs ago!). Princess orders king crab legs and filet 
mignon ("surf and turf"), TPG the ribeye, and I have the large filet. 
OHMYGAWD yummy! Princess practically inhales her food... yeah, I 
think she liked it ;-).

We finish dinner and head for the Luxor. As we wander about the Luxor 
lobby, looking for either: 1) a phone or 2) someone who knows where a 
phone is... we run into TPG's and my perv friend Dirty Dick wandering 
around in the lobby!!! Turned out he was staying cheaply at the Luxor 
thru a security guard friend who works at the Luxor. DD offers to 
take us up (past security) to the 27th floor for a panoramic view of 
the hotel. And what a view it is. 

Sully and "friends" are on the 20th floor so after taking a 
combination of the "wrong" inclinator and the fire escape stairwell, 
we finally arrive on his floor, and, voila(!) room.

Princess volunteers to knock on the door, and we are greeted by Sully 
who invites us in. We four (DEVON, TPG, DD and I) walk in and are met 
by Dr. Mazoola, TIFFANY, TEENA, Marc182, LMR and MsGINGER. Turns out 
DARA LYNNE had just left to go downstairs to find drinks and ice. So 
DEVON decides to run downstairs to try and find her... uhhhh, ok ;-). 
A little while later, DARA LYNNE, WITH drinks, returns, WITHOUT 
DEVON! Oh well, we all agree that she'll eventually find her way 
back. 

In the meantime, after putting away the drinks, DL volunteers to 
strap my dog collar around my neck. And soon enough, DEVON returns to 
the room (and given the complicated nature of the Luxor's  
inclinator/floor design, THAT was no easy feat ;-)), and she soon 
winds up in the bathtub with DARA and MsGINGER... and woah were they 
ever smokin'! ;-). Moments later, LMR, Sully, Maz, and TPG join them 
in the tub... for a group photo that is.

CARA ST. JAMES, after a few "stops" along the way ;-), finally 
arrives at the Luxor... JUST in time to leave with us to go for 
breakfast/dessert. It's 115am so we just go downstairs to the all
night cafe. OGM takes my leash and as we walk, we discuss "life, 
inner-strength, happiness", etc.  As we're seated around the table 
it's DEVON (across from me), TPG, Maz, DL, LMR, CARA, Sully, 
MsGINGER, and me, chained by the leash to the table. Everyone else is 
starving and are gonna order dinner, but  TPG, DEVON and I order 
desserts only. DEVON and I share a chocolate mud pie-type thing and a 
banana split. And DEVON also orders a vanilla shake. DEVON says, "Oh 
man Bubba, you're gonna gain A LOT of weight on this trip!" ;-). I 
help OGM decide what she wants to order... the "Burgers of Hathor"? 
What's Hathor, I ask. Not surprisingly, OGM knows ;-). As she 
explains it to me, OGM catches the waiter not offering her a choice 
of salad or soup, and "grills" him into making sure he wasn't trying 
to short-change her. In addition, OGM finds out that none of our  
waiters know what "Hathor" is... what kind of joint IS this anyway???

Afterward, OGM and I continue our discussion about the geometrics of 
life, or something. We all agree to meet at the Private Dancer booth
at 2pm tomorrow for lunch. Towards the end, Dyn0 and his BYOD SERENA 
arrive and sit at our end of the table. But by 215am, we're done 
eating dessert, and TPG needs to get back to his motel (has to get up
early to pick up his SF friend Steve at the airport) so we three depart
from the group and take TPG back to his motel. 

After we return to the MGM, DEVON and I decide to do a late-night 
sight-see check out the Oz Buffet and while we peer thru its closed 
gate, make a mental note to try and eat there sometime during our 
stay. Then we encounter an overpass (over The Strip) leading directly 
to New York, New York, so we decide to take a walk. We enter NY, NY 
and gaze at the amazing detail of the casino's NY-motif. We then  
stroll thru the NY, NY casino area, weaving our way around and 
through the various "boroughs". After awhile, we're both exhausted, 
so we return to the room at 415am or so. Lights out.


-Bubba