Subject: ASSC-The Movie (SF Thread)
Date: 11 Feb 1996 07:00:15 GMT

As a public service to ASSC, and at the urging of our esteemed 
Chairman-of-the-Board, I am submitting the following ASSC/SF email 
thread that resulted from "ASSC-The Movie". 

DISCLAIMER: Some settling did occur during the transcription...
Whether or not it's intelligible is purely a matter of opinion...

Bubba (Museum Curator, archivist)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

ALS--> ASSC, MTV style...

Beavis:            ALS
Butthead:          Bubba
Stewart:           Rudeboy
Sewart's Dad:      IRL
Todd:              JP
Van Driessen:      Alan Bostick
Mc Vicker:         Tiger
Tom Anderson:      CQue
Buzzcut:           Rinus DeGier
Burger World mgr:  Bob Smyth

Daria:             CRIMSON
Lolita:            TIKI
Tanqueray:         KAT
Kimberly:          MIA
Stewart's Mom:     MARIA

BOB SMYTH--> I need to cough up some $$ for cable just to find out who 
these people are.

KAT--> Bob, I tapped into my neighbors cable. You can come over anytime. 
I never watch B+B so I guess I'll have to have someone come over and 
watch it with me, eh?

BOB SMYTH--> If b+b is on mtv, I wanna come over. I need to find out how 
these people are and I need to practice my air guitar. Once I get real good 
at it, you can be my first groupie.

KAT--> I'll be your groupie on one condition: I want to play air-drums.

BOB SMYTH--> Awesome. I'll start working on a tour.

things to do:
-Grow my hair
-Buy an old beat up diesel-spewing greyhound bus
-Attract more groupies

cunning625@aol.com wants to be meat loaf.
I asked cunning625@aol.com who "meat loaf" is
(I thought it was a band)
He says "meat loaf" is the lead singer, but that he could do the whole band 
too, just ask Kat.

So let us have him do an audition at the CP on Fri. Also lets find out if he has 
any groupies he wants to lend to the effort.
  -Bob "I wanna be a rock&roll Star" Smyth

BUBBA--> ...Here's my big chance!!! I gotta get in on this one... You guys 
need an air-bass? air-background vocalist? 
  -Bubba "The Forever 'Highway To Hell' Angus-Wannabe"

ALS--> I presume you meant "Anus"...

TIGER--> I don't want/need to be in the band. Been there, done that. Too 
many sleazy promoters who want head before they will do any serious work 
for you. I'll be satisfied just being the band's manager.

BUBBA--> Please... I'll do ANYTHING to be in the band...

BOB SMYTH--> You will need to audition like the rest of the rock star wanna-
bees. Also, if you share your groupie (wanna piece of candy little girl) with 
us, the judges will be most favorable. 
  -Bob "here cums da judge" Smyth

KAT--> Yes, yes, groupies!! Bring them on!! I need to be serviced! 

BUBBA--> Ok, ok, ANYTHING!!!  Wait a sec, my candy-lovin' little groupie says 
she'll cum along ONLY if she can get a "Star f*ck"...

So... any thoughts on how my audition will go? ;-)

BOB SMYTH--> I think your chances are looking up ^ 
  -Bob "ya I'm a star; you want to get in my limo little girl?" Smyth

KAT--> Bring me pretty little raven haired nymphetes and the smartest men 
you can scrounge up. I'm hungry!!

I'M STEIN--> On my way!

DALAI LAMA--> Ah mi too fu...

BOB SMYTH--> Yes, nymphetes, yes!

smartest men? No.
smartest women? No.

They might conflict with the band name:
Kovacs, Bob, and the Airheads

I wanted a name that warned the audience we have only "air" instruments. 
Hence, Airheads.

If the other groupie/members are like the female-lead in "Top Gun" (MIT Astro 
Physicist) or Val Kilmer in "Real Genius" (Caltech WhizKid), we need to 
change the name.

Hmmm...

I'll expand the list:
-Grow my hair
-Buy a bus
-Get some groupies
-Pick a name

BUBBA--> How 'bout AS/SC? Metalli-Kat?

DAVID(Saxbeat)--> Oh come on, a band with BS and Kat?
It would have to be called "PJ Harvey."
Or "Leather 'n' Flannel."
"The Not-so-Stray Kats"?
"The Pajama Game"?
Okay, okay, I've got it: "PJ Spud and the Spud-tones"!
Don't come gunning for me... Saxbeat is already dead.

KAT--> I went bangin on Saxbeat's door with an Uzi but the note on the door 
said out to lunch.

TIGER--> ...how about Black Kat and the Software Consultants?

BOB SMYTH--> Kovacs, Bob, and the SaxBeat-offs might work except
Hair-trigger-man might go thermo-nuclear.

DAVID(Saxbeat)--> WHAT THE f**!@%^!%*(@&Y DO YOU MEAN BY THAT! I'LL 
KILL YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!!! IS THAT SOME KIND OF ANTI-
TEMPER REMARK? JESUS CHRIST I'M SICK OF BEING PERSECUTED!!!!!

OH, it was a joke? Never mind. I love you. I want to be your groupie.

Kiss me, you fool.

KAT--> Oh great. Now you've done it, Bob. Just had to piss in the pool,
didn't you?

DAVID(Saxbeat)--> Thanks for the warning, Kat. I was wondering why there 
were a bunch of rubbers in the filter intake.

BOB SMYTH--> If we put him in the band, we will have to call it David and the 
Mood Swings.

Oh shit!!  
I better duck.
  -Bob "I live far away from LA - you will never find me" Smyth

KAT--> So where are the little girls I asked for?

ALS--> But you're the littlest girl I know...

MR. DEVIANT--> You guys are all disgusting perverts... a spanking is in order.

KAT--> And who gets to administer the spanking?

BUTTHEAD--> Uhhh, huh-huh, huh-huh, where's Lolita? Huh-huh...