The comments in "{{ }}" serve as an historical narrative of sorts.
Some comments can be considered 'between-the-lines', and some
simply convey my feelings of today.
*****
Excerpts from "New Century SF Editorial, 11/03/95"
Table of Contents: Bulletin, Review, New Sightings, Favorites/ASSC'ing
BULLETIN:
1) A brief history lesson... and something to ponder...
Xbmmqbet's are the rarest known form of qbeejoh (padding) from the
planet Fbsui, of the Njmlz Xbz Galaxy.
It is widely believed that a few have entered our current Astral Plane
as a result of the planet Fbsui's implosion. The implosion of Fbsui
ignited the explosion of the Njmlz Xbz Galaxy. A mirror of our own
'Big Bang'? Astronomers still debate.
So rare are these Xbmmqbet's, few humans can even comprehend their
value.
The NC is rumored to be the sole custodian of the 4 Xbmmqbet's that
exist on Earth.
Only the isolated tribe of Aaessessseeunz (commonly known as ASSCers)
can relate to the importance of Xbmmqbet's. Xbmmqbet's are a 'basic
need' in the course of an Aessessseeunz's way of life. It is said to
be extremely painful to Xbmmebodf without them. NOBODY should
have to live with THAT much pain.
Aaessessseeunz are isolated as individuals, not as a communal tribe.
Geographically spread out, yet, bonded to One and All somehow. As a
result, historians are unable to pinpoint the ethnic roots of the
Tribe.
Who is the Father of these people? I'd like to know.
I ask all Aaessessseeunz to share your roots and your theory regarding
who our Father is.
An A+ for any student who can diagram the Family Tree.
...class dismissed.
(Pelican Head, you can't leave until you decrypt this lesson. 20pts)
FAVORITES/ASSC'ing:
I checked in @ 7:15 tonite, then out from behind the stage curtain
pops MIA! Yes, it's gonna be one of those nights! MIA's music was
new to me for this set. She put on a great show even though I didn't
care for the tunes. Luckily my brain blocked out the noise and my
eyes picked up the slack. Did I move? Nope. Did I blink? Couldn't.
Did I breathe? Can't.
Once again, out @ 8, back @ 11.
Suddenly, I look up. Deja Vu? If so, DEJA MOI! JESSICA is BURNING
it UP! The VIP seats on both sides of the stage were SOLD OUT! No
problem. I push my way between the chairs and stand at the rails for
a little bit during each song. Am I blocking their VIP view? Yep.
Do I care? Nope. Are they tipping? Nope, a Very Idiotic Populous.
We ASSC'ers gave her a standing O!
OK, time for me to stray away from the group and, well, you know...
It's 1:15am already? Man, time flies like a British Airways Concorde
with a tail wind against the rotation of the Earth from Sydney to Hong
Kong to Heathrow to JFK to LAX on a Wednesday that becomes Tuesday and
ends up being Wednesday anyway for a day when you land. Fortunately I
land in time for MIA! Deja... hold on... this is like, weird... the
Concorde is fast... but I couldn't have traveled back... nah.
MIA and I occupy the same continuum, what else matters? We ASSC'ers
occupied the front row. Before her 1st song ended, a little black
skirt ended up around my neck, MMMmmm. Bubba got a pink miniskirt
around his head during the 2nd song, somehow. During MIA's 3rd song,
we did the 'wave' every time she reached the end of the runway! I
know WE were having fun.
It's out of control,
ALS
*****
Excerpts from "New Century SF Editorial, 11/10/95"
Table of Contents: Bulletin, Review, New Sightings, Favorites/ASSCing
NEW SIGHTINGS:
LUCINDA has returned. I only met her ONCE back in May of this year.
Once is all it took.
Seattle was calling her name. "Six months" she said, and six months I
waited, for what felt like an eternity. Always in the back of my
mind, often carving a path to the front.
When I saw her name on the list, I became at peace with life.
*SIGH* LUCINDA is as sexy as I remember. Natural, flowing,
millennial. A breathtaking silhouette from ANY angle. Once again, I
was reminded of her sensual pace.
The first time we met I remember saying "I can't believe how sexy you
are. I don't know if my dreams of you will ever fade."
I was too nervous to say anything to her tonite. Her stage set
rendered me silent, still, and expressionless. Honestly? I knew she
didn't remember me, nor did I even attempt to remind her. Why would
she ever remember me from a 20 min. encounter 6 months ago? I am
nothing to remember. But now, I'm ever at peace with my existence.
{{ I only wish I knew where she is now... }}
FAVORITES/ASSC'ing:
Arrivals - Flight #ALS; Time - 8pm; Terminal - NC; Runway - Six-Nine
Upon landing, I cross Bubba's left wing. He's ASSC'ing with 2 lurkers
from Sacramento, S & D. They made a charter trip to SF, specifically
for an inspection of the NC Int'l Terminal. It looked and sounded as
though their investigation proved fruitful.
S & D, it was an honor to meet the two of you. It was a shame you
couldn't stay over longer. I usually arrive earlier. Their is so
much air that we didn't cover, next flight perhaps. As you know, I
sincerely hope that the two of you can squeeze my gathering into your
flight plan.
Shortly after S & D departed, TigerMan3 and Curious George came
crashing in. That left Bubba, TigerMan3, Curious George, myself, and
all the dancers to carry on the airshow.
PRINCESS appeared to make a "barely legal" flight. Turbulence ensued.
JESSICA taxied up and down, in and out, right and left, twisting and
turning. Once again, a standing O from the passengers and crew!
Regretfully, I missed the MEAGAN Airways exhibition.
Next flight, EDIE! Taking her time on her approach, making frequent
stops along the way for all to admire her cockpit, an engineering
breakthrough. She even called out for ALS! {{ *sigh* }}
TIKI's S/M 747 backed its way to the end of Runway Six-Nine on her 2nd
approach. In fact, she backed right into Bubba's nose cone. Bubba
immediately begins to WHIP the tailwing! Like in a relay race, he
passed the whip over to me, and I don't hesitate to rail HARD(!!) on
TIKI's tail rudder as she crawls BACK towards the terminal, BEGGING
for MERCY!! Air traffic control is in chaos! Once she pulled out of
range, I turned to Bubba and proceeded to RAIL on HIS left wing as
well! FLAPS DOWN, FLAPS DOWN!!
Last scheduled flight, MIA. She Bops out of control, causing
uncontrollable waves in the ground crew! Curious George almost got a
flat tire...
what-was-that?
ALS
*****
Excerpts from "New Century SF Editorial, 11/17/95"
Table of Contents: Bulletin, Review, New Sightings, Favorites/ASSC'ing
FAVORITES/ASSC'ing: There must have been something in the air...
everybody seemed sort of tired and down. Is this simultaneous burnout
of the staff, the dancers, and myself?
MIA was the first dancer I saw at about 7:30. Hmmm... she cheered me
up a little by snapping her bra right in my eye. No pain, no fun.
But still... maybe it was the thick fog outside or the fact that the
club was real slow.
Time for the REVUE. One by one, the dancers strut their stuff to
RuPaul. Club still slow, but I'm starting to build up a little energy
now.
LinL and Josh don't look like they want to be bothered. I know it's
them, do they know it's me? Not yet. Now I'm starting to really hit
stride. The dancers are starting to wake up a bit, too. The staff?
Comatose.
Wouldn't you know it, LUCINDA appears. I stop dead in my tracks. The
music STOPS. The club is DARK and EMPTY, save for a single spotlight
on her. I can feel my soul dancing with her on stage while my body
mummifies in its seat. She moves in synchronicity with every beat of
my tranquilized heart. Only her exit can restore my reality. To
return what she had borrowed.
Suddenly, while giving PHOEBE a lap dance, we heard the Call of the
Wild TIKI! Listen... Where in the jungle is this predator? The
yelping is coming from the Walldance Forest! Uh Oh! LinL is her
prey...
Allllll righty then,
ALS
*****
Excerpts from "New Century/Gold Club SF Editorial, 11/22/95"
Table of Contents: Bulletin, Gold Club, New Sightings, ASSCing
The GOLD CLUB:
The Gold Club or Bust? BUST. Silicone bust. $20 admission, $10
extra to go upstairs (Oooo, now I'm higher in the air), no contact $20
fully clothed table dance, mileage equivalent to a Lamborghini
Countach, lousy free buffet, expensive drinks, no energy, not
impressed. PelicanHead, DougLee, Tiger, & I had such a great time,
we're never going back. OK Bye.
ASSC'ing:
*SIGH* It feels so good to be back at home. A cloud of ASSCers are
present: Bubba, Tiger, The Rudeboy, The Sophomore, and myself. A
quick run to the corner deli for food and then it's back to work.
Tonite was the nite for quotes by dancers. I don't know what started
it. Maybe they all just want to get it out of their systems before
filling up on turkey. (this is not a conversation, just a
compilation)
Dancer #1 to ALS and Tiger - "if you can fuck, you can do this job!"
{{ REEVA - sitting on Tiger, using her best sales pitch. }}
Dancer #2 to ALS - "can you pick me up a single non-fat latte?"
{{ JESSICA - while lapping someone. }}
Dancer #1 to Tiger - "look, I want your cock hard, you want a hard
cock, and I want your money"
{{ REEVA - sitting on Tiger, using her best sales pitch again. }}
Dancer #3 to ALS - "don't think I'll make rent tonight"
{{ MEAGAN - worried as usual. }}
Dancer #4 to ALS - "they're making me dance with a bad ankle, can you
believe it?"
{{ MIA - twisted her ankle on Monday night trying a move she knows she
shouldn't have. }}
Dancer #1 to Tiger - "I'll pull your tie out of my pussy on stage"
Tiger to Dancer #1 - "now it's a museum piece"
{{ REEVA - sitting on Tiger, using her best sales pitch again. }}
Dancer #5 to ALS - "all the clubs are the same, you can make money if
you know how"
{{ PARIS - claiming she knows how. }}
Dancer #2 to Bubba - "would you like to pull it off? go ahead."
{{ JESSICA - bending over in front of Bubba, shaking her panties. }}
Tiger to Dancer #1 - "I have a copy of the LBB(tm) in my car"
Dancer #1 to Tiger - "I don't want copies from you. That's what he's
for (points to ALS). I want your money!"
{{ REEVA - sitting on Tiger, using her best sales pitch again. }}
ALS to Dancer #5 - "what would you like to say for the LBB(tm)?"
Dancer #5 to ALS - "don't forget your wallet!"
{{ PARIS - who's not afraid to express her deepest desires. }}
Dancer #5 to ALS - "Juicy wants to know why you don't like her"
ALS to Dancer #5 - "no comment"
{{ PARIS - who's really the one who doesn't like Juicy. }}
Dancer #4 to Rudeboy - "I don't even like my boyfriend"
{{ MIA - punching in her ATM code. }}
Dancer #5 to ALS - "they fall like paper"
{{ PARIS - talking about her competition. }}
Dancer #1 to Tiger and ALS - "you are not gonna believe my stage show"
{{ REEVA - sitting on Tiger, using her best sales pitch again. }}
Dancer #5 to ALS - "am I crushing you?"
{{ PARIS - she really meant my wallet. }}
Dancer # 1 our ASSC group - "WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE BUY A DANCE FROM ME,
NOW!!"
{{ MIA - HAVING A REAL BAD NIGHT. }}
Dancer #5 to ALS - "so, what kind of women do you like?"
ALS to Dancer #5 - "shaken, not stirred..."
{{ PARIS - hoping I say "women like you". }}
S... ALS...
*****
Excerpts from "New Century SF Editorial, 11/28/95"
Table of Contents: Bulletin, Review, New Sightings, ASSCing
NEW SIGHTINGS:
First, I saw Anna and her Father. Killed him, had to, he gave me no
choice.
Then I ran into my old flame Elvira, who still loves me, whom I can't
seem to shake. She has seen the LBB(tm)! I'm gonna STRANGLE that
butler of mine.
Zerlina, ahhh yes, Zerlina. Oh so charming. Stopped her from
marrying Masetto, had to, he's a total dweeb. She was ready to come
home with ME, if not for Anna. Go away, bitch.
I get my butler to occupy Elvira, disguised as me, so I can score with
her maid. heh heh... So anyhow, here comes that bitch Anna (with her
boyfriend, uh-oh) and Zerlina (with her hubby-to-be, double uh-oh)
threatening to kill my butler. HA, they think he's me. Elvira still
does, too. My butler decides to reveal himself, coward.
(what ever happened to undying loyalty?)
For some reason, everyone wants to kill me now. Go figure. Elvira
BEGS me one last time to change my ways.
(Guess I shouldn't have taunted her for begging, huh? Pretty cruel on
my part. But, ya know, despite all my deceitful ways, Elvira still
loves me. She'll love me 'til I die. She told me so.)
While everyone seems to be in shock, I escape to the corner deli, only
to be met by the ghost of Anna's Father. It appears I have no choice
but to eat with him, those are the rules. Ironically, an excerpt from
Le Nozze di Figaro is playing in the background. He repeatedly
INSISTS I repent my sins!
To him I say, "NO WAY! NO FUCKIN' WAY!"
"Hey, what the hell are you doing? Where the hell are you taking me?
You can't do this to ME! Do you know WHO I am?"
(25pts)
(PelicanHead, Doug, Tiger, Rudeboy, Bubba, any guesses?)
(any ASSCers care to guess?)
I'll reveal who I am on the 1st, if no one can figure it out.
{{ Don Giovanni. Tiger was the only one who guessed it right. }}
ASSC'ing:
Whew, after that prelim, I'm exhausted! Good thing it was a great
lineup tonite. Cheered me right up! PARIS, LUCINDA, MIMI, PRINCESS,
MARIA, CRIMSON, CARMEN, DESIREE, DEELICIOUS, NAOMI, CINDY, OLIVIA, and
LUCKY... me.
I only wish I was able to spend quality time with all of them, if not
for that NEW SIGHTINGS fiasco. But for the few I did, I'll say this:
From the Underground emerges LUCINDA. Her Industrial beauty continues
to defy logic. I keep reminding myself "I'm not really "in" to that
scene" But if LUCINDA is...
Ou vont les coeurs brises? {{ where do broken hearts go? }}
LUCINDA will send me...
against my will...
My heart and soul endured such tragedy tonite, I fell asleep on
PRINCESS' lap while giving her a lap dance. It must have been a HOT
one (I can't remember), because PRINCESS fell asleep, too. Thanks for
waking us up, MIMI.
See ya next week,
ALS
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
*****
Excerpts from "New Century SF Editorial, 11/29/95"
Table of Contents: Bulletin, Review, New Sightings, ASSCing @ the
Opera
ASSCing @ the Opera:
A slow night and a narrative of why my heart leaves a tad richer than
when I arrived.
Early in the night, it was just Louie and me. Louie is not an ASSCer,
just a long, long, long time customer and resident NC Masseuse. Louie
is in his late 60's and ALWAYS has a good time, no matter what. The
dancers line up seeking relief of their shin splints and the like.
The New Century, An Opera Rung In Truth
by als
(written in english)
Act I - A Message Without Words
It's still early when MEAGAN takes the stage.
MEAGAN - Are you going to catch my set?
ALS - I sure will.
MEAGAN - Great, I'll do the French set then.
ALS - Thanks, I really appreciate it.
MEAGAN - *a little peck on my cheek*
I sit in my office which is about 20 feet from the stage. With no one
else in the Theater, it feels like the front row. I'm prepared for
what should be my favorite type of stage set, slow, sensual,
meaningful.
She comes out for the first song, "Space In My Heart". I sense a
little pain in her movements, which for me, adds a deeper meaning to
what I am seeing.
What pain does she feel?
Her second song, "It's A Man's World", makes for such irony in this
"theater" world. As she lay back to spread her legs, her head tilts
to the side, her eyes close ever so slowly.
What is she feeling right now?
The third song cries out "For Those Who Have Nothing..." In my eyes,
she is dancing for those who have nothing.
What is she trying to say?
"There's a space in my heart, in this Man's world, for those who have
nothing."
Am I the only one who hears this? That doesn't matter. If I'm right,
her message doesn't surprise me in the least.
ACT II, scene i - Our Dame of Hearts
(dame - noun; title of a woman having the same rank as a knight)
Our Dame is revealing to an educated audience, in a scholastic forest,
an aspect of her life many never see. 'Behind the Scenes' photographs
of her surrounding cast with a vocal synopsis. She is a Dame for she
is not ashamed of her soul.
...a Bandit is amongst the masses.
ACT II, scene ii - The Tragic Violation of a Dame
The Bandit enters the Theater seeking the company of our Dame. He
knows of this Dame. Our Dame knows not of his intent.
Our Dame agrees to accompany this Bandit, being none the wiser. She
is a Dame for she is condescending to no one.
The Bandit - by the way, I loved the photographs.
Dame - excuse me? What photographs?
The Bandit - you know, the ones I saw in the forest.
The Bandit attempts a minor physical assault on our Dame, insisting on
more personal rendevous'. Of course she resists and refuses. She is
a Dame for she believes in herself.
-The End-
Composers notes:
The real tragedy in ACT II lies in the violation of her soul. A Dame
still has a heart. Enough of a heart to share a part of her life with
others.
ALS