AFTSD 2003 -- A whole day that failed to suck.

It was 11 months ago this month. As with most great days, this one
started as a good day, and snowballed into a great day. The plan was
to take off early from work, grab some supper downtown with Don (my
usual partner in crime) and hit the International Auto Show in
Detroit. The auto show is a big to-do in Detroit. It attracts
business-types to the city, and shows off all the new cars for the
coming year, and a bunch of prototype vehicles as well. We go for the
dolly-icious models and a chance to get away from the house.

We started planning this a week previous, since our schedules rarely
coincide. In the interim, we found out the Detroit Film Theater was
showing David Bowie in "Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars".
Usually, there is no real reason to go downtown Detroit unless you are
going to a Wings game, so here we had 2 good reasons to spend the
better part of the day/evening downtown. Plans were solidified,
schedules were synched; we were ready to go.

I was planning to work until 3:00-ish and meet Don at The HockeyTown
Cafe for lunch. Really, it was just an excuse to leave work early and
have a few beers before heading to Cobo Hall for the auto show. Around
11:30am, Don calls me and asks if I can get out soon and meet him
downriver. He had an appointment there that had cancelled, and had the
rest of the day off. I left work and met Don at the Taylor Hooters.
Not bad, I thought. Decent lunch, cold beer, hooters. A better start
than we had planned.

We met at Hooters and talked about all the old times we were going to
have. It was 1:00pm by now, which skewed our agenda by a couple of
hours. Bowie didn't start until 7:00pm (with another showing at
10:00pm), and we didn't feel we could burn 5 hours in the auto show.
What to do, what to do. Knowing *exactly* what we would do, we headed
off to our favorite day shift club by the airport, the Landing Strip.
Really, we both knew we'd end up here when Don called me a week prior.
Fueled by Hooters beer, we headed out.

Business as usual at LS. We get a booth, order some drinks, wait for
an eye-catcher. Don heads off first with a tall blonde. Don's wife is
brunette, so he digs on blondes. I'm playing the coy, picky type
today. Not many guys here yet, so when a very pretty-but-not-gorgeous
girl goes up on stage and slips on the other dancers discarded top and
does a nice hockey stop, I give her a knowing grin and a wink and no
one else notices the move. She makes good eye contact with me
throughout her 3 song routine, taking about $10 in tips from one guy
at the stage. After her set, she walks past robo-tipper right to my
table, grabs my hand and leads me upstairs. Me likes. A quick ten-spot
to the bouncer, and we are on our way. We wrestle around for a song
before I start testing her limits. I slide my hand over the honey pot.
I expect to have my hand moved as so many times before, but this time
my girl pulls the g-string aside giving complete access. This was an
absolute 1st for me and almost put an end to the dance right then.
Picturing Dennis Rodman in my head for a few moments puts me back on
the straight and narrow. By the 3rd song, my new ATF had my fly undone
and was giving me a most excellent massage, while moaning softly but
firmly to my caresses. We both finish at the same time (Hey, I know
she was probably faking, but I don't GAF. It sounded real, it felt
real, and even if she was acting she did a damn fine job, God bless
her. I didn't even try to fake mine.) We got ourselves together and
agreed to meet back at the table. I headed to john, and was overjoyed
to find the attendent not in attendance. I grabbed one of his cloth
towels, wet it down and headed into the vacant stall. Nice.

Don was at the table when I returned. He had his "let's get outta
here" look going, but I wanted to stay and chat up my new ATF for the
rest of the day, if not my life. We compromised and spent another hour
before heading out, but not before my refractory period had ended
causing me to open my wallet for another 4-5 songs. My testicles were
banging like Big Ben on the way out the door.

We made the 30 minute drive to downtown Detroit for the auto show.
Already the day was shaping up nicely. Hooters, ice cold beer, had
gotten 2 nuts and we had only begun the evening. After parking we
walked to the Ponchartrain hotel for some drinks at their bar. We
chatted with the bartender for a bit, then some of the other patrons,
then the bartender again, then realized it was 9:00pm. We ran to the
now-closing auto show only to be denied entrance. It was a good thing,
as it is a long walk around the whole show, and we weren't good
walkers at the moment. To combat this condition, we headed back to the
Ponch bar to wait for the 10:00pm showing of "Ziggy".

We made it safely to the DFT at 10:15pm (!), and got outside row
seats. Luckily they hadn't sarted the movie yet. Don and I are HUGE
Bowie fans, but weren't old enough to see the "Spiders from Mars"
tours when he was still doing them. The "Heroes" tour was Don's and my
first concert together nearly 25 years ago, so we were looking forward
to this. Giddy with anticipation, the film starts. It is everything I
had hoped it would be. Bowie is resplendant in his Aladdin Sane
costumes (but not sexy...oh no, not sexy at all. Glancing at Don, I
was reminded of the "Wayne's World" bit:

"Wayne, did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he dressed up
like a girl bunny?"
"No"
"Me neither, I was just checking.")

I got goosebumps during Mick Ronson's guitar work at the end "Moonage
Daydream", and everyone in the crowd sings along to "Rock and Roll
Suicide" at the end of the movie.

Best. Concert film. Ever.

Don and I are swooning. The Hooters, the lap dances, the drinks, the
film ...oh my! It is late though. Our families will be concerned. We
are concerned about our ability to operate a vehicle, so we decide to
get something to eat. We consider Hockeytown Cafe, but Don has the
number of a fellow he used to bus tables with at The Spaghetti Palace
way back when. Don calls him up, confirms that the restaurant his
buddy works at is open and takes me there.

His buddy works at Opus One, perhaps the nicest restaurant in Detroit.
It's a long way from the Spaghetti Palace, I can tell you.

We are the only ones in the place. Don's buddy treats us royally,
offering wine suggestions with the meals we have ordered (veal
medallions for me, with a nice 1994 Meridian Santa Barbara Cabernet).
We take our time with dinner, soaking up all the surroundings and
chuckling at the events of the day. We kick back with our coffees
after dinner, reflecting and smiling. Don says, "This day couldn't
have sucked less".

Words to live by, Don. Words to live by.