Review of an appearance by Cynder Moon

Stage Surfer

12/03/2002

This is a review of an appearance by Cynder Moon at the Admiral Theater
in Chicago. This is from Halloween night a year or two ago, I can't
recall exactly.

I caught her Midnight show on Halloween. It was pretty
good (I've seen it before and really enjoyed it). I
was able to get a seat at the stage, and one of the
house dancers sat on my lap.

Cynder comes out screaming and wearing a
straight-jacket. She looks all wild and runs around
the stage for a bit before settling center-stage. She
then spends the next few minutes escaping.

Her next bit caused quite the stir in the club. She
pulled out two nails 3 inches long each, and a hammer.
Threw me one of the nails, another guy got the other
one. It was just to show that they were real. She
banged the stage with the hammer. The next part
creeped out a few folks, I thought it was pretty cool.
She put one nail in her nostril and hammered it all
the way in. She then did the same with the other nail
in the other nostril.

The dancer sitting on my lap started to shake and
wretch a bit, but she kept control and didn't vomit,
though she kept burying her face in my shoulder
because she couldn't watch too long.

Cynder then used the claw portion of the hammer to
remove the nails. The first one went smooth, but she
made it more dramatic with the second, by pretending
it was stuck.

The next part was really cool and gross, though not
what Cynder did, but rather what happened to the
dancer in my lap. Cynder pulled out an ice pick that
was about 6 inches long and inserted that into her
nostril. The dancer lost it at this point. She started
to gag, and I recognized she was about to do the
technicolor yawn, so I directed her head away from me
towards the floor and she just unloaded onto the floor
next to me. Luckily none of it hit me or anyone else,
and she ran off more embarrassed than anything else.

I lucked out in not getting the "Roman Shower" and
they cleaned it up pretty quick, and the show
continued.

For her final bit Cynder does the electrocution. She
has a whip made from a small chain that is hooked up
to her equipment and she drags it across the guys at
the stage to show them that there is actually
electricity involved. The zap was pretty harmless, but
it does sting, especially if you get hit in the crotch
as I did.

She wets herself down, splashes the crowd, and then
stands on a pedestal with a metal plate that is hooked
up to her electronic gear. Her stage helper gives her
a flourescent bulb and then cranks the equipment and
the bulb lights up. She does the same thing with a
regular light bulb. Next she holds two torches that
light and she does a fire eating bit. The big finally
is she puts on what looks like brass knuckles and they
crank up the gear and lightning bolts start shooting
off her hands for about a foot or so. She sticks out
her tongue and bolts fly off her piercing as she
flicks it around.

She then gets off the pedestial so she isn't connected
to the electronic gear, and goes center stage with a
small fan. She grips the plug and the fan spins for
about 15 seconds while the residual electricy drains
from her. Pretty cool to see and highly recommended.

A bit later she comes out to the back of the club to
sell merchandise and give authographs. I was one of
the lucky guys that won a free 8x10 because I sank a
wadded up dollar bill into the shot glass placed
between her breasts. It was from 15 feet away and a
swish (nothing but shot glass). It only took me three shots.
Not bad considering she was selling the same 8x10's for $10
each.

She had her pet boa constrictor with her, and it was
cool because the photo I won was of her with the boa.
I sat and chatted for a bit and the snake seemed
intrested in me so she put him on me. It wrapped
itself around my upper chest and my left arm resting
its head on my forearm as I was sitting there. The
snake is 8 feet long and was just really cool and
very clam considering all the noise. She said that she
tried to have him on stage with her earlier in the
week, but it freaked out. I imagine it was getting
really confused by all of the flashing and strobing
lights.

If you ever get a chance to see her show I highly
recommend it. She also does a bit where she swallows
thread, and six individual razor blades, then removes
them all connected to the thread. Another bit is she
breaks beer bottles on the stage and rolls on the
glass, puts a board on her and has someone from the
audience walk stand on the board while she lies on the
broken glass. A few other carny/sideshow type bits,
but the big one is variations of the electricity show.

Also talk to her afterwards. She is very bright and a
real sweetheart, even if her stage persona is a total
wacko.

All in all a pretty entertaining Halloween.