My Triennial
Contribution Saxbeat 12/02/01 Lately,
several people have said to me that between seven years of posting to ASSC and up to five
years on various Web sites, everything that needed to be said about strip clubs has been
said. That may be
true. All I have to
offer are some observations: - Strip clubs
in Los Angeles seem to be going crazy. Meaning, the mileage is maybe a little higher than
where San Francisco was five years ago. Although I've "only" been to four clubs
in the last six months, every one has offered the nastiest laps. The big trend now seems
to be dancers who want guys to go down on them. It's hinted at every so often on Zbone's
board (http://www.zbone.com/), but I think the reality far outnumbers the posts. I'm
guessing dancers see cunnilingus as 1) proof a guy isn't a cop; 2) pleasant for them; 3)
low-risk for STDs; 4) not as messy as a HJ or BJ. At a recent club visit, a dancer tacitly
offered me a piece of pie three times during our lap, asking if "something was
wrong" when I didn't bite (figuratively speaking). - It seems
that as the mileage increases in L.A., the quality of posts on Zbone's board goes down.
Gone are the lengthy treatises on music, the heartrending tales of love gone wrong. Gone
too, are the "Does anyone know a high-mileage club?" posts. When every club has
at least two girls per shift giving handjobs or blowjobs, I guess posting becomes
unnecesssary. The board has been taken over by trolls who are so repulsive they don't get
any mileage, so they spend all their time attacking everyone and putting down clubs, and a - As AFTSD
neared, I suddenly began thinking of the friends I'd made in ASSC and Zbone, and also the
one's I hadn't made. When I started cruising the usenet in 1995 for tips on which clubs
would allow me to touch a woman's naked breasts without getting every bone in my body
broken, I never thought I would actually meet people and make lifelong (or even temporary)
friends. At one point, I even was invited to join the Gang of Several, or GOS, a strip
club Algonquin Rountable of some of ASSCs most notable posters. - What
saddens me though, are the guys and girls I didn't meet, with whom I shared a brief yet
intense correspondance which faded away with distance and time. Dr.D, idleeric, AtomicD0g,
Special Agent Dale Cooper, Ginger... Damn. Some of them came all the way to the West
Coast, and I still couldn't get my ass out to see them. (The worst being DrD, whom I
missed by maybe 20 minutes at the Chez Paree, thanks to poor directions given him by a
certain Pope. What can I say? It was my birthday, and Kat was taking me for dinner.) - I will
certainly never forget the AtomicD0g, one of the early days' most prolific posters, a
world traveler who invested a healthy amount of SOUL into every thing he wrote. Everyone
who met him felt as if they had met the Buddha, a hearty, big man who seemingly never
stopped smiling, and rarely stopped laughing. It was the Dog who popularized the
now-forgotten phrases, "Dances - Speaking of
Siren, one has to give credit to the dancer who coined the term "pathetic loser"
to refer to customers. In our little subculture, few other phrases have had the legs of
that one. (It may be second only to the term "mileage" which I believe was
coined for strip-club usage by Zbone himself.) But anyone who saw the shitstorm of hate
posts that greeted that little phrase knew she had touched a nerve. I doubt anyone ever
saw the day that some clubbers would wear it as a badge of subverted pride. I'm wondering
if the time has passed to market a "PL" logo line of comfortable loungewear.... - Many times,
for whatever reason, it seems I will meet a poster, and they will soon after decide to
stop posting. Was it something I said? Maybe there is a Saxbeat curse, but several of my
favorite people, including Subsonic, EyeIIIEye, Peakay, CMG, Travelin' Man, LARoger,
Dodger, Bubba and CMG all seemed to go on extended hiatii or drop out entirely within a
year after sitting in a club or at a dinner table with me. Maybe ambivalence is
contagious. - At an old
favorite club last month, I experienced a first: A dancer actually got embarrassed, then a
little pissed, at me when I prevented her from lowering my zipper. Whooda thunk it? I
never guessed that stopping a dancer from giving me a handjob would hurt her self-esteem. - After
September 11, I actually thought I might never go clubbing again. All of life seemed so
trivial and meaningless. I'm not sure why... maybe it was Bush's exhortation to get back
to our normal lives... but suddenly it seems all I want to do is club. I visited three
clubs this week. Ironically, I'm getting turned off by the ridiculously high mileage
practically being forced upon me. All I want is the comfort of a woman's body pressed
against my own, and instead I'm consistently offered the exchange or release of bodily
fluids. I'm sure I'll get over it eventually.... - Two of my
favorite dancers -- no, make that my favorite people -- in the whole world are now happily
married with children. I always wondered what would happen, whether they would settle
down, whether they would find happiness.... I'm so pleased that they have. And contrary to
what you might expect, both have remained vivacious, sexy and upbeat. More amazingly,
perhaps, they both seem overwhelmingly and happily in love with their husbands. For the
dancers out there who want to know what's in store for them, middle-class bliss may not be
likely, but it is possible. - Why is it
that the best writers, the brightest thinkers here on ASSC and in ZBone cycle through
periods of inactivity, they take hiatii, they may even have epiphanies and go away for a
while or forever; but the obnoxious, inarticulate ones with nothing to say keep going, and
going, and going, like the Energizer bunny? - Speaking of
writers, why is it that so many guys, when driven to extoll their strip club exploits in a
semi-fictional voice, immediately hunker down into some bizarre Hemmingway cum Philip
Marlowe noir voice, with inconsistent lapses into New Age gobbledygook, talk about
goddesses, and lines from old, obscure rock songs? - I'm making
my annual pilgrimage to San Francisco next month... Can anyone recommend a good club? What
the hell is the scene there now? The last two or three visits I've made, I didn't even
step foot inside a club! All I know is: I have no interest in MBOT or MSC, unless they are
offering a continuous regimen of girl-girl shows. Saxbeat |